Random Funny Quotes LMAO

by K@R10$ M33 Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:28 am

I found these, I thought they were funny so here they are! cheers

-Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings

-Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

-There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car

-What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

-Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

-Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

-I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

-Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

-Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid

-After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

-I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

-In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

-I never finish anyth

rofl